Monday, December 20, 2010

Days 4, 5 & 6: Hospital Bed Rest

The weekend itself was pretty uneventful on the little brother side.  All was calm.  I did get to see a lot more of Hunter and Chris this weekend as well as a couple of friends who stopped by. 

Today's u/s didn't bring the greatest news for my cervix.  According to my nurse (who talked to the on call doc from my ob office because my Doc is off on Mondays) I'm down to about 3mm from 5mm, but the on call doc says this is considered "no change"...  I don't about anyone else, but when you are talking about the amount of cervix that is holding my son in, I personally think a change of even a half a mm is a big deal.  Not that it really changes anything that we are doing or can do, but it indicates things are progressively getting "worse."  And while I wasn't happy about the change, I'm even less happy about the fact that the doctor is minimizing the change.  But anyway, so the u/s tech brought in the peri to look while she was doing the internal u/s, because it looked how it did.  They seemed to agree on the fact that my cerclage is in fact not holding.

Little Brother is continuously proud of his boy parts and made it very evident once again that he is boy!  He is also measuring in at an estimated 1lb 14oz.  Which is great to hear  especially if he does end up premature. 

Honestly, today I feel in my heart that this little boy is going to be premature.  Of course, God could certainly prove me wrong- because nothing is impossible with Him, but today that is my feeling.  Today my feeling is that we won't make the 28 week point either.  I'm not saying that to be negative- just the feeling I have.  I hope that I'll be able to post in March that I was wrong,  but I continue to pray for the strength to handle whatever happens whether I need that strength for many more weeks of bed rest or strength to deal with having a premature baby in the NICU.  I continue to pray for God to hold us close throughout this, I know and believe he is good- all the time.  And whatever happens He will use it some way for good. 

I think that focusing on 28 weeks is not going to work for me right now.  I just need "focus" on a closer date.  So today is Monday and my "turnover" day is Friday.  So on Christmas Eve I will be 25 weeks and right now, that is the date I'm looking to.  Every day makes a difference. 

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