And two steps back. We were of course told to expect it to be like that. Following the heels of the good day yesterday- good head ultrasound news, Mama getting to hold AND kiss Gage while they changed out his isolette, the removal of the belly button line and placement of the central line which meant he got some tummy time- comes the setback that there seems to be a tear in his intestines that is leaking air into his abdomen. So now he has been transferred to Children's Hospital. While this is most definitely where he needs to be due to his condition (they don't do any surgeries at our hospital even though the rest of the care is equal to this hospital) I'm not only sad and scared about his newest medical problem- but am also so sad to be leaving our hospital and all the staff.
I had such a "feel sorry for myself" moment in the car on the way here- thinking about how we went from "celebrating" Morgan's 2nd birthday without her to being put on bed rest at home, three weeks later heading to the hospital for bed rest, two weeks later delivering Gage so prematurely, having two "honeymoon" days in which Gage was doing SO well for a 25.5 weeker, to the news of the head bleeds and now to having the intestinal tear/air in the abdomen and being transferred to another hospital. Man just writing about it makes me overwhelmed and about to start blubbering. It's the first time in the past 6+ weeks of all this that I've really thought, "Why can't we have a break God?" I hate feeling sorry for myself/us- it doesn't do me or Gage or my husband or anyone any good.
So overwhelmed right now.