Friday, January 7, 2011

One Step Forward...

And two steps back.  We were of course told to expect it to be like that.  Following the heels of the good day yesterday- good head ultrasound news, Mama getting to hold AND kiss Gage while they changed out his isolette, the removal of the belly button line and placement of the central line which meant he got some tummy time- comes the setback that there seems to be a tear in his intestines that is leaking air into his abdomen.  So now he has been transferred to Children's Hospital.  While this is most definitely where he needs to be due to his condition (they don't do any surgeries at our hospital even though the rest of the care is equal to this hospital) I'm not only sad and scared about his newest medical problem- but am also so sad to be leaving our hospital and all the staff. 

I had such a "feel sorry for myself" moment in the car on the way here- thinking about how we went from "celebrating" Morgan's 2nd birthday without her to being put on bed rest at home, three weeks later heading to the hospital for bed rest, two weeks later delivering Gage so prematurely, having two "honeymoon" days in which Gage was doing SO well for a 25.5 weeker, to the news of the head bleeds and now to having the intestinal tear/air in the abdomen and being transferred to another hospital.  Man just writing about it makes me overwhelmed and about to start blubbering.  It's the first time in the past 6+ weeks of all this that I've really thought, "Why can't we have a break God?"  I hate feeling sorry for myself/us- it doesn't do me or Gage or my husband or anyone any good. 

So overwhelmed right now. 

1 comment:

  1. Dear Anna,

    I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. And I'm so sorry that Gage has to go through this. I don't understand why some people seem to have so much placed on them all at once, while everything seems peachy-keen all the time for others.

    I don't know what it's like to have to move hospitals, but I do know when they moved Emma Grace from the A nursery to the B nursery without telling me, I freaked out. They moved her because of the threat of tornadoes and the A nursery had windows in it. I pitched such a fit that, as soon as they could, they moved her back. And they let me pick where I wanted her.

    The NICU staff becomes like your family and you get comfortable with them. There is so little you can control in your situation, that it's nice to have as much familiarity as possible.

    I will be praying for Gage as he goes into this surgery. And for you, too. Please keep us posted as you can.