Thursday, April 7, 2011

Unfinished Posts

I can't seem to find the right words these days to write about anything.  In the past three months there are nearly a dozen posts that I've started and not finished.  But it feels worse over the past couple weeks.
I couldn't finish a post on how Hunter swallowing a penny got us stay at Children's Hospital, the hospital where Gage died and how the whole experience sent me into a huge emotional upheaval. (Hunter is doing fine, don't worry.)

I couldn't finish a post on how I'm feeling about April these days- specifically this first week of April.

I couldn't put into words how I felt on April 1st- the 2nd anniversary of Morgan's due date.

I can't really find the words tonight to write much about Gage's due date tomorrow... Sad... that about sums it up. 

Missing this little boy.  Sad he's not being born now.  Equally sad that since he was already born 3 months ago I'm not bringing him home from the NICU now. 

I believe wholeheartedly that he is safe in Heaven with Jesus (playing with his sister and many friends) and that Heaven is a much better place to be than here on earth.  But yet I still want him here in my arms. 


  1. I love you, Anna. I'm so sorry. I have been thinking about you and Gage and Morgan so much lately. I wondered how you were after Hunter's hospital stay- I'm sure it was so hard and just terrible. I will pray for you tomorrow and tonight. We remember Gage and love him too.

    Sweet Gage is beautiful. He has such wise eyes, older than his age.

    love you,

  2. I'm sorry Anna. Grief is suffocating, literally. Hang in there. One minute at a time. Praying for you. Oh, and I love this picture of Gage...his perfect little hand and beautiful big eyes. I'm so sorry he's not here. Love you! (((HUGS)))) Even though we know heaven is a much better place for them...our arms would be a great place for our little ones, too.

  3. Thinking of you Anna! And praying for you! Missing sweet Gage right along with you...I'm so sorry you are going through this pain...wishing it could be taken from you. Like I have said is such a comfort taht our babies are in Heaven and they are safe...but I know sometimes you just want them to be with in your arms! :) Praying you have a nice day...full of sweet memories of Gage and Morgan.