Sad today

I'm missing Gage a lot today.  I long to still be pregnant with him.  I long to be chatting animatedly with my pregnant friends instead of getting that "outsider" feeling as they talk of feeling nauseous and tired and uncomfortable.  I long to be happily and excitedly awaiting his arrival (this past Friday would've been 36 weeks).  To be washing the newborn clothes and getting excited instead of feeling sadness when I see pictures posted by one of my play group friends who just had her little boy a bit over a week ago.  She recently posted a picture of her (almost) 16 month old wearing the big brother shirt sitting next to the baby... with the caption: "I love my boys!"  I want that and the ache is really sharp today.